Echoes of Regret
by Fictionluver777
Summary: AU Sam using his demon powers has killed Lilith and stopped Lucifer from being raised and is commended by the angels but what toll will this take on Dean?
1. Fractured Image

Ok this is my first Supernatural story so play nice (pretty please)? In this story the Angels arent trying to bring forth Lucifer, they wanted to stop him. Lillith was not the final seal, she was going to do a ritual that would cause Lucifer to rise, but Sam killed her with his demon blood powers, and now Lucifer can never rise. Sam is still on demon blood, oh and Ruby is dead she wasnt working with Lilith, in an attempt to destroy her she introduced Sam to demon blood, but wound up dying in the fight with Lilith. This story begins a little while after Lilith was defeated.

I do not own Supernatural, nor do I own the characters. Eric Kripke owns them (but if he would let me borrow Dean for one night I would be very happy).

Chapter One: Fractured Image

Dean's POV  
When I was younger, I can't say I was a kid , I havent been a kid since I was four, Dad would tell me three rules, three lessons I always had to follow. The first was to save people, and hunt evils that lurk in the shadows of our existence. The second was to never praise an evil deed even if it brought some semblance of good, and the third was that Sam came before everything. Given the scenario I guess Sam comes before the other rules I have been taught.  
"We shouldn't of doubted you" Zacharia spoke out to Sam, patting him on the back like he was his long lost son, all the while Cass stands behind him silent, and pensive like he always acts. They congratulate Sam? For what, drinking the blood of demons, to destroy Lilith? Angels of the Lord are condoning this act as if it is okay?  
"Thank you" Sam says in an almost pompous tone, when did he begin to speak like that? In a tone which sounds like he believes himself to be better than everyone else, better than me? "Lucifer will never rise, now right?"  
"Thats right Sammy" Zacharia praises using my pet name for Sam, a name in which Sam always gets irked at me for using. He isn't irritated at the name now it seems, he just nods his head in approval. Maybe he was mad not at the nickname, but at the the person saying it, namely me. "It's all because of you, without you we would of never been able to do it." With that statement Zacharia looks at me for a split second his eyes flash toward an emotion of condescendence, than as if it never happened he turns his gaze back to Sam.  
"I didnt do this alone" Sam states, I want to shout thank you Captain Obvious but for the first time hold my tongue, hold back my sarcastic comment. Is Mr. Ego actually about to give me credit for this victory? "Ruby helped a lot, as did you guys. Without you Lucifer would of risen." Thats who he gives credit too? A demon bitch, and a bunch of rigid douchebag Angels?  
This was supposed to be my victory, my destiny. For once in my life it was about me, and Sam had to ruin it. The way he saw it was that he had to clean up my mess, poor breakable Dean stupidly broke after 30 years of torture, and broke the first seal. All year while he was getting roided up, he was using me as his excuse. Dean isn't strong enough, Dean is not Dean anymore, who in their right minds would be the same after 40 years in hell? Mr. Perfect wouldn't even last a day without breaking. Zachariah and Sam converse quietly over the ramifications of Lucifer being locked away forever. I hear them discuss the best ways to defeat the groups of demon armies still waiting for their father to rise up and lead them. They don't even realize I am still in the cold dank, basement room that they too inhabit, so caught up in their egos.  
I raised Sam, I took care of him, I put his well being above my own time and time again. I DIED FOR HIM, I went to hell for him, and he never appreciated it. He always resented the life I fought so hard to give him, he always resented me. Sam laughs at something Zachariah says, and the room seems to close in on me. I can't be here, in this room where I am treated like a ghost, where I am treated as if I am a nobody. The room begins to get suffocating full, how can it feel so full when I feel so empty? I need to get out of here, I need to get air. The room spins as I not so stealthily sneak away though no one notices, my existence let alone my departure.  
The Stairs creak, and twirl, and tumble though that may be in my mind. They wind, and seem never-ending, dusty and lonely, ignored, and rotted like my soul. Okay scratch that that sounds like a line from one of those sappy movies with a misunderstood emo kid starring in it. Once I manage to get outside, I am assaulted by cold, harsh air. Air that constricts, rather than relieves, I need to get further away; I fumble for the keys to the Impala, and slowly get into the drivers seat. I place my hands on the steering wheel in an effort to calm myself before starting the car. The purring of the engine soothes me, it's the only sound that has been a constant in my life, the only thing that has never left me. I pull out from the church, and speed down the highway. Where I am going is unknown, the only thing I do know is that I need to get as far away from where I am as I can.  
__________________________TBC__________________________________________Want more? Review tell me what you think.


	2. Shackled Pain

Sry for the delay folks I am having computer problems!!! urgh! Enjoy the next chappie!!!!  
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, the Impala, Cellphones, or Metallica urgh!

Chapter two: Shackled Pain  
It's morning, not daytime morning but morning nonetheless. The LSD clock in the Impala's odometer flashed neon green numbers 4:58. I've been driving for hours swerving down random backroads and highways. My phone rings, and I glance from the vacant road to my cellphone's screen. SAM WINCHESTER the phone flashes as the phone blares on and on. I reach over and hit ignore violently pressing down the key. The phone finally falls silent and I throw it in the backseat but not before turning it off. Why is Sam calling? Did his royal highness finally realize I was gone?

The road continues to wind until I come across a familiar house, ramshackled and rugged the haunt of Bobby. It's weird I wasnt even driving toward a specific destination, and I land at Bobby's. I slow the car down, until it comes to a graceful stop. Before I can even get out of the car I see Bobby running to meet me halfway. He looks worried, and overall irritated I assume Sam called him to keep a look out for me, once he opens his mouth I realize my assumption was correct.

"God damnit boy where in tarnation have you been?" He says in a scolding way, before I can answer he continues "your brother has been calling me nonstop for hours, saying you dissapeared after he stopped armageddon."

"Stopped armageddon Bobby, those were his exact words?" I ask in a scathing tone, of course its just like Sam to use my absence in a way to brag to others. "I hardly think Sam stopped armageddon."

"You idjit is that why you ran off, petty jealousy? Well let me tell you something boy we don't have time for that. Lucifer may not be any form of a threat anymore, and Lilith may be dead but there are still a boatload of demons waiting for a leader to guide them, and their are a plethora of demons wanting to lead them." Bobby sucked in a breath of air and looked at me "you have to put your damn envy aside and help Sam get rid of these factions."

"Oh you want me to "help" Sam?" I ask outraged. How dare he insinuate that I was the sidekick, the assistant? "Well you know what, I may just let Sam do it by himself!"

"What has gotten into you Dean?" Bobby asks taking a softer tone, looking at me concerned. "If I didn't know better I would say you were posessed." I scoff, and roll my eyes.

"Bobby you think half the world is possessed at any given time." I tell him snidely, "now listen I am not gonna go "help" Sam, I am gonna drive around and just drive to wherever is farthest from this land of ego and paranoia."

"God damnit boy how can you be this selfish?" Bobby asks quizzically.

"Selfish Bobby? How in God's name am I being SELFISH?" You know, you are the closest thing I have to a father and for you to say this to me..." My voice cracks a bit but I swallow down the emotions. "You know I expect Sam to say these things, hell I expected dad to say this stuff too, but you. I expected you to be on my side, I expected you to be the one in my corner, and now when I need you most you belittle me, you take Sam's side? Well enough, I can't deal with this anymore, I'm out." I turn towards the door, preparing to go.

"You can't turn your back on this mess boy, your the reason we originally got into it." Bobby's voice cuts in, snapping me out of my reverie. I turn back to look at the man I once saw as a father figue my eyes cold.

"Yes Bobby I went to hell where I was tortured for thirty years until I finally couldnt take it anymore. They ripped into me till my entrails were lying in a pile at my feet and than I would be whole, and it would start over again. After thirty years I had enough, thirty friggin years! In replace of experiencing that excruciating pain, they had me inflict it on others, and I did it for ten years with a song in my heart. Yeah I broke the first seal, yeah Sam cleaned up my mess, but honestly Bobby, honestly I dont give a crap anymore. So you enjoy your post apocalypse cleanup, I'll enjoy life."

"Don't you walk out this door boy or I swear to God.."

"What are you and God gonna do Bobby? Honestly I doubt he even cares anymore if he even is alive, so you better find a better ally. May I suggest the Easter Bunny? Man that bunny seems like he can pack quite a whallup.." I make my way to the door, and open it, I turn my head and take one last look at Bobby. "Don't try to find me, cause I dont want to be found."

I walk quicky to the Impala start it up, and gun the engine so within minutes I am miles away. I am about to put in my Metallica cassette tape when my recently turned back on phone rings, it's Sam. I am about to press ignore when I get an idea, a smirk forms on my face as I put the phone to my ear and press talk.

"Hello Sam."

____________________________TBC________________________________________  
well thats the second chapter folks! Did you like it? Did you hate it? Well unlike Missouri I am not psychic. Ooooh do you know where i got the line "with a song in my heart" from(an honorable mention to whoever can tell me what shows it's from), So click the button and review!  
Ooooh btw Jensen lovers bad news on the homefront... Jensen Ackles is engaged! (nooooooooooooooooo)! Good news tho, Jensen is directing Supernatural's 100th episode and (spoiler alert) That episode is gonna be Dean/Michael centric!!!!!!! YAY!!! So on that news pleaseeeeeeeee review!!!!


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